It's Okay to Not Be Okay.
Behind every uniform, every game face, every highlight reel — there is a person. And sometimes that person is struggling in ways nobody can see.
Iain & Lisette — February 2005
In February of 2025, Lisette and I celebrated our 20-year wedding anniversary. On July 11, 2025, I lost her to suicide.
I was devastated. I still am. And one of the hardest parts is that I didn't know how much she was hurting. She didn't say. People often don't.
That's not weakness. That's what happens when the world tells you to be strong, to push through, to keep going. We learn to wear the mask so well that even the people closest to us can't see behind it.
I built USN because women athletes deserve a platform that tells the truth. And the truth is that mental health is part of the game — whether anyone wants to talk about it or not. I want this platform to be a place where that conversation is not only allowed, but welcomed.
— Iain Deckard, Founder, USN
Think about what a professional or collegiate athlete's life actually looks like. Games. Practice. Travel. Film sessions. Media obligations. Sponsors. Social media. And somewhere in between — sleep, meals, relationships, family, and the constant weight of performing at the highest level while the world watches.
There is almost no space to say “I'm not okay.”
The culture of elite sport rewards toughness. It rewards showing up. It punishes vulnerability — not always openly, but in the looks, the roster decisions, the whispers. So athletes learn to carry whatever they're carrying alone. And sometimes the weight becomes impossible.
You never know what someone is going through. The teammate who seems fine. The star who looks untouchable. The quiet one in the corner of the locker room. The person you haven't checked in on in a while.
“Are you really okay?”
Ask the question. Accept the answer.
Asking for help is not weakness. It is one of the hardest, most courageous things a person can do — and it is always worth doing. There is no shame in struggling. There is no shame in needing support. There is only shame in a world that made you feel like you had to hide it.
We're Building Something for Athletes.
A dedicated support platform is in development — built specifically for professional and collegiate athletes who need a private, judgment-free space. More details when we're ready.
If you want to be part of shaping it, reach out directly.
If you are struggling — or someone you know is — please reach out. These resources are free, confidential, and available right now.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988 from anywhere in the US. Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Free and confidential.
988lifeline.org →Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. Available 24/7.
crisistextline.org →American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Education, research, and support for those affected by suicide. Resources for survivors, families, and those who want to help.
afsp.org →Outside the US
Crisis support is available in most countries. Find your local helpline through the International Association for Suicide Prevention.
iasp.info →If you are not ready to call a hotline but just need someone to listen —
email me directly. I will call. No questions asked. No advice given.
iaindeckard@usn.networkThe world is not better without you. We need you to stay with us.